She was trying to deal with all those feelings her breast cancer had stirred up, says Olivia Newton-john, and the song just came to her:

to deal with all those feelings her breast cancer had stirred up, says Olivia Newton-john, and the song just came to her:

'Not Gonna Give In To It '

I USED TO BE REALLY afraid of dying," said Olivia Newton-John. "It was a fear that was always there, at the bottom of everything. I was afraid of getting old. I was afraid of a lot of things." In 1992-just as the Australian singer was about to embark on a U.S. tour, her first in 10 years-Olivia Newton-John was diagnosed with breast cancer. She canceled the tour and underwent a partial radical mastectomy and eight months of chemotherapy. I recently vis-ited Olivia, now 50, at her home in Malibu, Calif., to find out how her struggle with her mother unbreast cancer had changed her life. " I see it as a gift," she said. "I know it sounds strange to people who have never been there, and I don't wish it on anyone. But I don't think I would have grown in the areas that I did without that experience."
Olivia Newton-John was born in Cam-  bridge, England, the youngest of three children and the granddaughter of Max Born, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist.
When she was 5, her family emigrated to  Melbourne, Australia, where her father,   Brin, had taken a job as headmaster of a college. Olivia's parents split up when   she was 10. She lived with her mother un-
til she was 16, when she won a trip to  London in a talent contest.  "My mom wanted me to get out of Australia, because I had a boyfriend, and she thought I was too young," Olivia recalled. "She thought I needed to go  and see the world and get some life ex-  perience. I didn't want to leave. We went  to England, and I worked some pretty divey clubs. I wasn't terribly thrilled. I wanted to go home."
Olivia teamed with fellow Australian Pat Carroll, and the duo Pat and Olivia performed at cabarets, clubs and on television. Pat's visa eventually ran out, but Olivia remained in England."
I stayed because my mother had established an English passport for me because I was born there," said Olivia. "I was very upset. I wanted to go back to Australia, to my boyfriend. She eventually combined her talents with another Australian, John Farrar, and produced her first hit, "If Not for You." She toured and then left England for America, where she became a regular on the pop and country charts.

"I see it as a gift," says Olivia Newton-John about  her struggle with cancer. "I know it sounds strange. But I don’t think I would have grown without that experience."

For the next two decades, Olivia Newton- John was a huge pop star, topping the charts with songs like "I Honestly Love You," "Have You Never Been Mellow,"Magic" and "Physical." She won three Grammys, an array of gold and platinum records and the Order of the British Empire.  Olivia also starred opposite John Travolta in the 1978 film Grease.  In 1984, she married an actor, Matt Lattanzi, and they had a daughter, Chloe, the inspiration behind her well-received children's album Warm and Tender.  Today, the couple is divorced and Chloe, 11, lives with her mother.
"My daughter is my priority now," Olivia told me as we sat in her oceanfront home.  No mementos of her career are on display except for a piano used on tour in the early '80s.  It was in 1992 that her latest tour had to be canceled because of her illness.  I asked her about her reaciton to the news that she had breast cancer.
"I think the first days were the most scary," she said, "but I laughed a lot.  The only way I could really cope with it was laughing.  Laughter was my respite.  Of course, at night when I was by myself, I was frightened.  There

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