6/29/15 Chronicles



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  Tuesday 6/23/15

I've got so much to do now that I'm back home from our trip! Lots of work on my site, lots of DVD's to watch and more. I haven't unpacked yet or done laundry.

We were watching a comedy show, and it was the second one I've seen where they were talking about women being threatened by jerks online. When they give examples, it's always gamers. I've been online since 94, and I've argued with many people, in groups, boards, forums, social media etc. and I've never once been threatened. There are lots of women-haters out there - men who don't like it when a woman disagrees with them or has their own opinion. I've been called names, but that's it. I wonder if I've just been really lucky, or it's just gamers that do it? I don't game or go on those type of boards. It's obviously just a small set of gamers, too. I know many gamers IRL and they're all nice people.

Anyway, they were talking in general about how the media, police and others don't take it seriously when women are threatened online, and they often say to the ones whose ex-boyfriend or whatever posted their naked photos online that the best way to avoid this is to not take naked photos of yourself. The host compared this to saying, if you don't want burglars to break into your home, don't own a home. That's not a valid comparison. First of all, maybe it's just because we didn't have digital photos when I was young, but I've never taken naked photos of myself and would never send them to anyone. And I'm not the type to get upset if anyone did post naked photos of me, but if I were, I certainly would never send them to anyone. How stupid are people that they don't know, anything you can email or text, can become public?  This is not blaming the victim. This is saying, don't indulge in risky behavior. I feel bad for anyone who got a sexually-transmitted disease, too, but then again, I don't go around having unprotected sex, or sex with strangers. It's like pregnancy - things can happen, and abstinence is the best tactic, but also being on birth control or using a condom is a good idea.  I guarantee you that anyone who is really into their privacy would not, or who is paranoid about that sort of thing would not take a naked photo, let alone send it to someone. It's more like saying, don't leave your door unlocked if you don't want to be burgled. Or get a security system.

Of course it's easy for me to say, since they didn't have this sort of thing when I was young, nor did they have social media or the internet. We're all very grateful that we can't look back on foolish things we did or said before the 1990's.

I have a really early interview...ugh.

I was SO tired when I got up and had trouble staying awake. I was really groggy. I didn't press record right on my recorder and missed the first couple of minutes of my interview. What a pain. Then I didn't get back to sleep until about 10:30am.

I have bad allergies today, and I'm just feeling so overwhelmed by everything I'm so behind on. STRESS!

We went to dinner at Murphy's. I wasn't all that hungry, though. I just had their corned beef and only had a little bit of it, and most of the grilled veggies, and some of the mashed potatoes.

I unpacked our suitcases, and now I'm resting. Then I'll go back and put away the clean clothes and start the laundry. It's pretty humid tonight, 67% humidity. 80 degrees at 8pm. Not fun but bearable. It's just tough to get motivated to get up and do stuff.

David's watching a Padres game. It feels like summer now!

I just wish I knew why Google has been so slow in my Firefox browser....

Thank goodness I can sleep in tomorrow! Then maybe I can get up in time to buy some groceries. We need them badly. We can only live so long on take-out and leftovers.

I didn't go to sleep until about 5am.

  Wednesday 6/24/15

Today is cupcake day, which I both look forward to and dread at the same time! LOL! This is the only day that the local cupcake place has gluten free cupcakes, so I really like to go there and buy some, but they're not sugar free or low carb, so they're really bad for me. I shall resist! Besides, I still have some Ethel M chocolate left that I bought in Vegas.

Today is my sister-in-law Susan's birthday! I believe she turns 58, although she sure doesn't look it at all. She's retiring young in August. Must be nice! She is an administrative law judge in San Diego.  Her husband, who's a bit younger, is also retiring. I forget what he does (something in computers).  They plan to do more traveling and other stuff. I know she has lots of plans!

I notice, from taking lots of photos of friends and family, that some people photograph well and others do not. Some, like me, and like David, can go either way. His sister Susan photographs very well, as does her husband John, and so does Eileen's husband Joe. Eileen does not photograph very well at all. She's very pretty, always has been, but it doesn't show in photos unless she has them professionally done. Same with our friend Shaler. He's very handsome and charming but rarely looks that way in photos. So weird how that works. I wonder why?

Today was not a good day. I did get to sleep in, which was nice. I woke up around noon. First, my ear was hurting. I hope I'm not getting another ear infection. That would really suck. I really wanted to go out, but I didn't have much energy. I took a shower, and that seemed to help my ear a little, for a while... I got dressed so I could go out. I planned to go to the grocery store. Then I started feeling sick from the usual gluten problems, and I was sick for quite a while. I just went back to sleep for a while.

David stopped at the grocery store for me and got a few things, so we didn't go out to eat. We just had rotisserie chicken. I still need to go and get other things, though. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better! It's just as well, I guess, since it was raining.

Tomorrow's his birthday, but he doesn't much care for celebrating it. I'm still trying to talk him into going out.

I spend way too much time arguing with idiots online....especially bigots. I really think that there are a lot of really ignorant and clueless people out there that don't think of themselves as bad people or as bigots, but yet they are... if you're displaying a Confederate flag, you are a racist. No question. Sorry! I have friends who may take offense at this, but it's true. Or you are willfully ignorant. It's not a Southern pride thing. It's a symbol of racism, oppression and hatred, just like the swastika. So if you do display it, that is your right, but just know that we will all think you're a bigot.

One of the problems in this country is that education is so bad. Maybe it always has been, I don't know... in general I think that we've become more enlightened as a people. I mean, I was born in 1961, which is the same year that South Carolina started flying the Confederate flag over their state capitol. It wasn't over some sudden swell of Southern pride. It was because they wanted to support segregation at a time when the civil rights movement was starting. It wasn't even the real Confederate flag, just one of many they used.  Here's a really good article about the whole history of it.

It's shameful that anyone, especially a state, would display that flag. The rest of us can't believe that anyone would do that in this day age and age.  At least, though, 53 years later, institutionalized segregation is largely gone, and most people know it's racist to say the N word, and there are no longer lynchings or cross burnings etc.  We went from that, to having a black president 50 years later. Not to mention all of the other strides we've made with regard to bigotry and civil rights.  Social change is generally slow, but in this case, great strides were made in a relatively short period of time. That may be why so many of us are impatient that we still have so much racism and other bigotry. At this point, we feel like women and people of color should no longer be second class citizens and should be getting the same pay and treatment as white males.

It might seem strange, but crime, and even violent crime, has gone down in the past decade. Here are the FBI's crime statistics and their 2014 preliminary stats. People are always shocked by this because we have this 24 hour news telling us about all of the crime out there and horrifying us, scaring us. That's their jobs now, to scare us so that we come back to listen for more.  This makes us think that there's more violent crime than there used to be, but that's not true. Still, what is really shocking is all of the spree shootings. The one last week was particularly heinous because it was racially-motivated.  Sadly, we're used to crazy white guys shooting up a place, but they don't usually target black people. It's usually more random than that, or they're targeting people they know (like classmates).  Sadly, we're used to people shooting each other, and we're used to cops harassing, beating, choking and shooting black people (including many innocent ones). However, many innocent white people are also shot by police, including the elderly. Most of these are in the news. You can also read about it on this website that keeps a tally of all of the innocent shootings. Here's another one as well.  It's good that someone's keeping track, since we know that the state doesn't.

It's a depressing thing to think about, any way you cut it! Racism, gun violence, shootings, police misconduct... this is why I don't watch the news regularly. I hear about it, anyway, either via social media or from the comedy news shows, or through my husband, who's a news junkie.

Part of the problem with the racism is that most of us have our own worries and concerns, so we don't really get involved in social issues or politics unless it directly affects us.  This is why people who are targets of racism are more aware of it than people who aren't. I don't know what the cure of that is, aside from more and better education in the schools about racism in the U.S.

Personally, I'm mostly concerned about my own health, and that of my husband, and losing weight, and working on my website, and my bands. After all that, the main social issues I care about are women-related issues, and issues that affect the poor and homeless, and those that affect gay people.  All of those issues relate to me, or my family, or good friends. Now, I do have some friends affected by bigotry, too, so I do care. Also, I have a second cousin who's black (my cousin's daughter). But it's not as if I actually DO anything about any of these issues, aside from donating money and/or voting. Oh, and pets, I care about pets!

Well, too much philosophy for one night... going to bed now.

  Thursday 6/25/15

David's birthday is today! The people he works with are always so nice and got him a card that they all signed, and cupcakes.

I was still having some illness today but I'm feeling much better. I finally did go to the grocery store! Yay!

We went to J.J. Dolan's so that he could have some pizza and Irish beer, and I picked up take-out at the place next door, the Tap Room. Then I gave him another present, and his card, plus some coffee ice cream. You know, I never liked coffee ice cream before AT ALL, but now that I've been getting sweet coffee drinks at Starbucks, I'm more used to the flavor. I tried some...it was okay.

Tomorrow night, after dinner, we're meeting up with some of my potential all-girl band members at Kelley O'Neil's, down on Waikiki. There's Ginny, whom I've been in touch with for a while; I saw her play with her other band. She plays guitar. Then there's Zoey, a drummer. Ginny knows her, and they also know a keyboard player.

Then there WAS another girl, Monica, another guitar player, who saw my Craigslist ad. But after several emails and a couple of phone calls, we both realized that she's not even in Hawaii -- she's in Ohio! LOL! So funny. I guess she doesn't know how to navigate Craigslist, so she somehow saw my ad in the Hawaii section, not realizing that she was not in the Ohio section. Oh, well.

Hopefully we can get a bass player and maybe another guitar player.

Here are the songs I'm going to suggest we do:

Proposed songs from 70's and 80's
Back in the USA by Linda Ronstadt
Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar
Gloria by Laura Branigan
Call Me by Blondie
Bad Reputation by Joan Jett
Because the Night by 10,000 Maniacs
Barracuda by Heart
Harden My Heart by Quarterflash
The Warrior by Scandal
Holding Out For a Hero by Bonnie Tyler
Runaway by Bonnie Raitt
We Got the Beat by the Go-Go's
We Will Rock You by Queen
Cruel Summer by Ace of Base
Two More Bottles of Wine by Emmylou Harris
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Lady Marmalade by LaBelle
It's Raining Men by Weather Girls
She Works Hard for the Mone by Donna Summer
Voulez Vous by ABBA
Right Back Where We Started From by Maxine Nightingale (maybe too pop?)
Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper (maybe too pop?)
I Only Wanna Be With You by Dusty Springfield (maybe too pop?)
I Love the Night Life by Alice Bridges (maybe too disco?)
Then Came You by Dionne Warwick and the Spinners
It's Too Late by Carole King
You Belong to Me by Carly Simon
Ironic by Alanis Morrissette
How Will I Know? by Whitney Houston
Zombie by the Cranberries
Band of Gold by Freda Payne
Walk Like an Egyptian or Manic Monday by The Bangles
by Fleetwood Mac

possible others from 60's and more recent
Be My Baby by the Ronettes
A Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin
Big Yellow Taxi by by Joni Mitchell
Black Horse and Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall
Respect by Aretha Franklin
Breathless by the Corrs
Rescue Me by Fontella Bass
One Fine Day by Carole King
Locomotion by Little Eva
Venus by Shocking Blue
White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane
I Love it by Icona Pop And Charli Xcx
You Drive Me Crazy by Britney Spears
All Jacked Up by Gretchen Wilson
Paparazzi by Lady Gaga
Firework by Katy Perry
Wedding Bell Blues by 5th Dimension
My Guy by Mary Wells
Gypsys Tramps and Thieves or Dark Lady by Cher

possible other songs by the same artists as above
Poor Pitiful Me, Tumbling Dice, How do I Make You, It's So Easy, You're No Good or Heat Wave by Linda Ronstadt
Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Invincible, Treat Me Right, Shadows of the Night, Helter Skelter or You Better Run by Pat Benatar
I Love Rock and Roll or I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett
Last Dance or On the Radio or Hot Stuff by Donna Summer
Crazy on Your or Magic Man by Heart
Dancing Queen, or Take a Chance On Me or Gimme Gimme Gimme, or Money Money or Waterloo or Mamma Mia by ABBA
One Less Bell to Answer or Stoned Soul Picnic by 5th Dimension
Dreamin by Blondie
Hazy Shade of Winter by The Bangles
Our Lips Are Sealed or Head Over Heels or Vacation by the Go-Go's

possible slower songs
Black Velvet by Alannah Myles
Ooh Baby Baby or Desperado by Linda Ronstadt
Let Me Be There or I Honestly Love You or Please Mr. Please or If You Love Me Let Me Know by Olivia Newton John
Where Did Our Love Go by the Supremes
Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin
Downtown by Petula Clark
Leaving on a Jet Plane or Dream a Little Dream of Me by the Mamas and the Papas
Killing Me Softly or Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight
Son of a Preacher Man by Dusty Springfield
At Last by Etta James
Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics
What's Love Got To Do With It? by Tina Turner
Nobody Does It Better or Anticipation or Haven't Got Time for the Pain by Carly Simon
Almost Over You or For Your Eyes Only by Sheena Easton
Heart of Glass by Blondie
Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper
Brass in Pocket by Pretenders
Eternal Flame by The Bangles
Dreams or You Make Lovin' Fun or Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac

It's very exciting! I hope it works out.

It's starting to get warm here now. Finally. It's weird how different the weather was the past two years that we've lived here. The first year, it was really hot from the time we visited in June, to the time we moved here in August, through late December.  Then we had some very chilly/windy days, so that I had to buy some long sleeve shirts and more pants. It started getting really hot again, though, in May.  This year, however, it stayed hot for a long while, into January, but then it never really got cool. I only had a few days where I put on the long sleeve shirts. But it's stayed nice through June.  It'll be interesting to see how this next year is!

When we signed our lease for this place last year, we didn't notice that the air conditioning units (two window units) were not included, and the owner didn't tell us, nor did he tell us (if he knew) that they didn't work.  So he won't pay to fix them or replace them. Today I got the information about what kind of units the building requires, and a place to call about installing them. The guy was super nice and seemed honest about the costs. It'll be about $1000 per unit, give or take. If the outer parts of the units are ok, then they just replace the inner parts. Otherwise they have to replace the whole thing. I just don't know if it's worth the cost. By the time our lease runs out, it'll be almost August. But then again, it stays hot here until December, so.... it's not like it'll be cooling down at that point. I'm just concerned that it'll be too hot to sleep. We did use the a/c last year, even though it wasn't working well. The one in the bedroom makes cool air, but it drips down the side of the building (as it turns out), so we're not supposed to use it now. We could get hefty fines for that.

I called Orkin pest control and they're coming tomorrow to spray or whatever they do... we have cockroaches and there are more now than there were a few months ago when the other people sprayed! Every time I walk into the kitchen, they scurry. It's really gross. These are the small brown ones, like I grew up with, not the big fat flying black ones. I'd almost prefer those as they don't seem to live in the kitchen, just outdoors.

Well, now I have to get back to straightening up my house before that guy comes tomorrow.

  Friday 6/26/15

I woke up earlier than I'd planned... I ran some errands and got lunch, and then I finished cleaning the house. I had only planned to straighten up a bit, but I ended up vacuuming the whole house as well. I just need to clean the bathrooms and kitchens a little better, and dust, and it'll be very clean for a change!

The pest control guy came a little earlier than he said, about 3:15. He's a very nice guy. We had a nice chat about insects, rodents, and a little bit about living here. Hopefully he can get rid of the cockroaches. I'm so glad that we don't have bed bugs, too! Apparently a lot of places around here do. He says that since we no longer use DDT, there are a lot more insects, including bedbugs. Wikipedia says, though, that DDT was banned in 1972. They said that many pesticides were banned and that it was only one contributing factor.  I sure don't need bedbugs -- I have enough itching already!

We went to Waikiki for dinner as usual and then to Kelley O'Neil's. The two women that I have been chatting with about forming a girl band, Ginny and Zoey, met with us there (and Zoey's husband).  Ginny is about to go on a trip and has been very busy, so we won't be able to do much until she gets back at the end of August. I gave them the list of the songs I know that I may want to sing. They said it looks like a standard list, so that's good! They know many of them already. We still need to find a bass player and a keyboard player, though. I plan to post some more about that. They didn't stay very long. I hope it wasn't due to anything I said or did. I know that our waitress there was kind of rude, and they were not happy about that (I don't blame them). I think she was having trouble hearing them, and she assumed that the guy was either joking around or being a jerk, but he wasn't.  This particular waitress was weird before, when I asked her about gluten in the food. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't trying to be rude at that time, and she's been fine since then, but I think she's a bit weird...  Hopefully it didn't ruin anything with them. We'll see, I guess!

After we got home, we just watched TV. It was a lot cooler at night.

It's been a great week! First the supreme court upheld Obamacare and now gay marriage! Woo hoo! So amazing. It's hard to believe that places like Alabama and Mississippi will have same sex marriage now. Wow! I wasn't on Facebook most of the day, so I didn't hear about it until the evening. I made up for it Friday and Saturday, posting lots of rainbow stuff. That was fun! Looks like those flags are coming down, too.

  Saturday 6/27/15

I have my doubts now as to whether I'll be getting this all-girl band together, at least with the ladies I met last night. One is very busy, so she might be less busy after she gets back from her vacation. The other one didn't seem that interested and is not answering my texts now. None of them stayed very long. So we'll see...I was kind of down about it today.

We went to Hooters for lunch as usual. It was very hot and humid, but there was a nice breeze, at least.

In the evening, I wanted to do something fun and/or different, but we really couldn't think of anything that we both could agree on, so we just had a nice dinner and did a little bar-hopping. Hopefully next weekend, we can go to karaoke.

In about a month, two exciting things are happening. For one thing, there's a Comic-Con here, so that sounds exciting. There will be some TV stars there, too. Then after that, we're going to Philadelphia for our anniversary. We might drive to Delaware for karaoke since I haven't done karaoke in that state yet.

I stayed up way too late, working on my site.

  Sunday 6/28/15

We went to Gordon Biersch for lunch. It's always pretty good there and you can't beat the gorgeous view of the harbor. It's another muggy, hot day. It did rain a bit after that, but that doesn't break the humidity here like it does in the South.

I started learning and working on some songs and recording those.

For dinner, we went to Downbeat as usual.

I stayed up too late, again! Too much to do.

The bad news about our country is that there have been many black church burnings .... that's not good. So sad.

I haven't seen one cockroach since the pest control guy visited! Yay! Hopefully that will stay that way.

All of my plants are still alive, I think, but Seymour is not doing well... that's the huge orchid plant.

Next weekend is Fourth of July! Have a super week and enjoy your holiday....

Don't forget to also check out my TV Blog! Both are updated about once a week.

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